I went downstairs, the doctor's office is in the Women's Hospital--convenient huh? So we went downstairs to labor & delivery. Fear was gripping me. I had delivered all my others without a c-section and I didn't want to ruin a perfect run. I checked in, got an IV, monitors hooked up, blood clot stockings on my legs and it all became very real. I was terrified.
I gave birth to Makiah and Sam, no meds, completely natural. I did it mostly because with Nathaniel I had an epidural and I was so afraid of the needle, had back pain for 4 months and epi headaches for months afterward, that I had decided never again. Here I was, no choice, a shot in the spine was my only way out. I was more afraid of the spinal block than the actual incision! I went through the day with Hubs keeping my smiling and trying to keep my mind off of 4:30.
As the time approached, you could tell things were picking up and that I was getting ready to go. Good thing too, my contractions had started again. They did one more final ultrasound to make sure we still needed to do the c-section. He was apparently very comfortable, he hadn't moved. Hubs put on his very special jump suit. It was time.
I walked into the operating room. I was terrified. There was the anesthesiologist that I had met earlier. He was ready, but I wasn't. At this point I figured I really couldn't back out. I bravely allowed him to inject me with numbing medication that I wasn't sure I would ever recover from. I kept thinking, what if I never feel my feet again? Or what if I can never walk again because of this shot? Drama was coming into play. Things were moving fast now. I wanted Hubs. Where was he anyway?
Finally after everything else, they let Hubs in. Tears flowed freely at that point. It was safe to cry now. I wasn't sure what I was crying about. It could have been because all the fear off all day finally burst forth, or that my precious baby was finally coming or that they were about to cut me open. I am thinking it was a combination of all the above.
Pressure, lots of pressure and then a little meowy cry. Then it got louder and louder and boy does that boy have some lungs! He was here. Right there, long, skinny and screaming his head off. I kissed his little nose, and they took him to clean him up. Daddy followed the baby at more request. They gave me some relaxing meds and I think I actually went to sleep. Daddy stayed with baby, mama woke up in recovery.
I can't say that the c-section recovery was joyful, because it wasn't. Daniel was great! I was so happy to have him here. All 6 pounds 11 ounces of him. So much for their theory that he was big!
This year with him has been joyous. He was a good baby, rarely cried, peaceful and happy. We've had some issues with his development that caused mama some fear, but on the whole, it's been a lovely year. Developmentally he has made huge strides. I believe God is healing him. What can he do??
~~Crawl everywhere and fast
~~Go up the steps, much to my surprise
~~Pull up and cruise around stuff
~~Finally signs the work "more" (we use a lot of signing with him)
~~Drinks from a sippy cup
~~Self feeds finger foods (pincer grasp gets better everyday)
~~Says ma ma, da da (he also says ga ga ga, which Grams insists that he is calling for her)
~~Walks the walking toy around the room
I am excited to see him change, but I already miss babyhood!