Not a Giant Chess Piece

How many times have you heard someone liken life to a game? Or even use the phrase to the "game of life"? And no I don't mean the board game either. Countless times, I'm sure.  But sometimes, I will admit it, feels like that, like I spun a spinner and whatever it landed on, that was my fate.

A few weeks ago in our mid week Bible study we were singing a worship song. I'll be honest, I have no recollection of the song because God and I were communing and while the song helped usher in the spirit of worship, God took over and I cannot for the life of me remember. I think I know why, but I have to stay on track so I'll come back to why. . .a post for another day.

Anyway, while standing in the very sweet, but overwhelming presence of God that night all that I kept saying was, "I am so thankful you reign, so thankful you reign." While talking to God, He spoke to my heart. That is supposed to happen, you know God speaking to us, so I wasn't surprised and you shouldn't be either. He ministered to me what I needed, not necessarily that night, but something that I would need to draw from later.  Probably soon too.

In my mind I saw the image of a giant, and I mean GIANT chess board, and on this board were people. Some I knew and some I did not. I was on there as well. There was a giant hand moving across the top of the pieces, as if deciding which on to move next and where. Then the Lord spoke to me and said, "often times this is what my children think I do. They believe me to be a game master moving people just here and there, with no direction, at my will. They and you, daughter, have mistaken who I Am. I am not sitting high and lofty above you, moving you at about at my pleasure as if to torment you. I dwell in and around you. I make your path clear, its not always an easy path, but I walk it with you. I am not making random decisions concerning your life. I am great, mighty and all powerful, but I hear your heart, I know your needs, I see your tears and your joy. I don't see your life as my game to play." At that moment the chess board and all it's people were gone. God spoke to me again, "you are not my play toys, neither as your children are yours. You are my treasured possession and you have chosen to live your life for me. I take great pleasure in communing with you, caring for you, providing for you, guiding, carrying your burdens and healing you. It's a relationship, not a game."

As I stood in worship service I was overwhelmed and uplifted by those comforting words. I took them in and held onto every word and wrote them down almost immediately. I knew I would need them for another day. And I have. I have often gone back to that night and replayed those comforting words. I have held tightly on when things didn't make sense or when fear threatened me from it's place of banishment. God isn't spinning the wheel to see where I go next! He isn't taking a chance card and wondering what's next! He's got this thing in control!  As in the book of Jeremiah, he tells the people of what God spoke in chapter 29 verse 11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." 

I know the Man in charge. I don't just know Him, but He knows me. And He's got me in the palm of His very giant hands and He does all things well.

I actually typed this post about two weeks ago.  I typed it all out and sat on it.  I knew God wanted me to write it out and post it here, but He told me to wait.  Tonight I feel it's time to post.  I hope someone reading it will hear it's message and find comfort in it. Blessings!!

The Worst Four-Letter Word

A co-worker of Hubs once told him that, "the worst four-letter word is fear." While I absolutely deplore cursing, I am convinced it damages my ears, I tend to agree on this. Fear is debilitating, it will prey on you until you are devoured and that's the kind of preying you don't need!

On Saturday, while at my local hardware store, you know the kind that does not require a golf cart to go through, I saw a wanted poster. Now let me just say, I like my little suburb of the highest crime rate city in America. But my little corner of the Midwest, for the most part is calm. It kind of feels like a real small town, not like it's surround by 1.3 million other people. So you can imagine I was a little surprised to see a wanted poster in my little hardware store, from my police department and especially for the crime listed. Now I realize that crime happens every day, all around me but I have been very blessed to have only been the receiptent of theft and no threat was made to any physical beings in my family. Oh! Back to the hardware store (even in blogs I tend to ramble ~snicker~), there hung a wanted posted for a man who raped and sodomized a lady just a mile from my home. I was more than just a little startled. I felt so saddened and a little sick to my stomach. One for this poor lady who has been tramatized, but also that there is a person loose in my community, so close to home that is capable of such violence. I left after making my big $0.32 purchase (just doing my part for the local businessman) and went about my errands. I had several stops to make, all of them in my town. As I approached the final stop and started walking in, it dawned on me that I had been looking over my shoulder, watching the people around me, checking in my van before getting in and other nervous actions from someone feeling pursued. And I was being pursued. . .by fear.

Just that quickly fear had crept in and had me suspecting every man that passed me that was wearing a black scully. And do you know how many men in this metropolis wear a black scully?? Apparently it's the only color they make! God chose that moment to teach me something. Again Living in fear is the same as living in prison. A self-made prison. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of things in this world that are scary. God knows that and He knew it when Paul penned this famous scripture to Timothy. . . .

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."~~2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

God knew, in His infinite wisdom that scary things would abound and He spoke to His people that they have been given power, love and self-control (a post for another day). The spirit of fear is not just a simple, I need a night light until I'm 7 situation. The spirit of fear controlling. It keeps you from going certain places, doing certain things, it drives people to run away, fear of forging new relationships because of pasts hurts, it convinces some people of a threat that to those of us not fighting that spirit find irrational but to them it's very real and terrifying, for some it means that they don't even leave their home. . .ever. Some will never walk in their calling because of paralyzing fear, just what the enemy wants. It is a prison, keeping you from living life in God's abundance.

Here I am, an Apostolic, Holy Ghost filled daughter of the King and I'm looking over my shoulder at the mere thought of a criminal. Really?? If I really allowed myself to worry about every criminal in Highest Crime Rate, USA, I would never leave my house. I can't live like that! And God didn't intend it for me or you. Frightening things will always be all around us here on this Earth and I know things will only get worse, but God is always here, He sees and knows. Ever watching and protecting. He never changes. I have lived in fear of various things for a long time and as I am realizing the freedom of living in total peace, I won't trade that because scary things live in my town, city or even my block. I am not saying that you should take foolish risks, abandoning all common sense, I mean God gave us common sense for a reason. Some situations you should know to avoid. Wisdom comes from God too, use it.

But. . . .

Don't let fear bully you into a fear prison . .be a prisoner of Christ. . .sweet peace surrounds you there.

A Testimony, A Testimony!!

God is amazingly faithful! God is my Jehavoh-Jirah!! I am abundantly blessed!

My children and I witnessed first hand a miracle this morning. This story is humbling and faith building all in one. I went to Whole Foods to buy our meat for the next few weeks. I grabbed up what we needed and proceeded to checkout. The total stopped at $178 and I cringed a little inside but I wasn't going to change my mind about what I was purchasing. I swiped my card and the lady said, "ma'am I'm sorry but your card isn't working." My heart started pounding and I would have loved to just melt into the floor. I was baffled. I knew there was money in there. So I asked her to suspend my transaction while I called the number. My card was not going to work in that moment. I was confused and mortified and a little stressed because we needed groceries. I pulled the manager (who had bagged my groceries) over where I was off to the side and told her that my card was not working and I was sorry but there was just no way for me to pay and that after I figured everything out I would be back. Again, melting at that point would have been preferred! The young mother behind me in the line had just put her last bag in her cart. She stepped over and said, "I don't mean to interrupt, but I feel like I should pay for your groceries." I was dumbstruck. I attempted to stutter out I can't ask for that but before I could she responded with, "you didn't ask and it's what I want to do". Before I even knew what happened, I was being handed a receipt, being hugged by a stranger and walking out with $178 blessing.

~~PRAISE BREAK~~

I cried the whole way home, thanking God for His provision. I told the Lord over a week ago that I am giving all of our financial situations to Him, fully and left it there. And today God showed me He does hear me, He knows where I am and He knows full well my needs.

If you have doubts that God provides. If you think God doesn't care, isn't listening or doesn't know your needs. . . you are thinking wrong. Let my miracle testify to you of God's unfailing faithfulness!!!

"I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging their bread."~~Psalm 37:25

"He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever."~~Psalm 111:5

"Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!"~~Luke 12:24

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."~~Phillipians 4:19

I know I said a series was coming, but I just had to tell of God's blessings! Tomorrow is the first installment of the series of new year, new me.