The Days I Miss My Saxophone

Years ago, back when poofs were cool, telephones were connected to the wall and the internet didn't exist (in my world anyway), I played a saxophone.  It feels like a century ago, but since I'm only 34 it isn't possible it was that long ago.


My dad played the sax and so in my fifth grader brain that made perfect since that I would too and I absolutely loved playing.  I was in the band for several years, but I never played at church.  I only played by note and I was afraid to take to the platform and hope for my ears to pick up the correct notes.  I loved the sound of the saxophone and I still love to hear good sax music.


Sometimes, it doesn't happen often, I miss playing my sax.  Some days I regret putting my sax away and not ever pulling it out again.  I can't even remember why I put it away.  Honestly, I don't remember.  I knew I had no desire to play in the marching band (the practices interfered with church activities) but there was jazz band I could have played in, but when I hit high school I stopped playing. I regret it.  I regret not being courageous enough to play at church and pray my ears could hear the key. I regret not playing with the jazz band for the one and only year I went to public high school.  And before you ask, yes I graduated, from a christian school.  I regret walking away from all the musical knowledge I had learned and practiced so hard to learn.


Today is one of those days.  One of those days that I miss playing and creating music.


I have always secretly wanted to and still want to play a soprano sax.  The most beautiful tones come from a soprano sax and I want to play.  So maybe one day I will.  Maybe one day I will open up that case, buy a new reed {hahahaha, if you play you will know why} and revive my blowing skills.  Maybe one day I will buy a soprano and learn to play.


Just maybe. . . .sometime before I loose all my teeth.

Thoughts from the Bedside

My sweet girl is in the hospital again.  ~Everyone say "awww" together~


Poor baby girl was doing so great, the ulcerative colitis was under control and then she got a little 24 hour bug and BAM!  A full on flare.  So here we are keeping the awesome nursing staff company.  She was admitted on Monday and I am just now getting a good enough internet connection to write a post.


Unfortunately or fortunately, it depends on the day you ask me, I am not unaccustomed to hospital dwelling.  Although when we were guests of Mercy back in January, it had been several years since I had needed to camp out bedside to a precious sweetie, I still worked it like a pro.  So here we are again, my sweet girl, a guest of her sweet doctor and me, the bedside pro.  ~Smile~


I know you are wondering when I am going to get to the actual thoughts part, I am getting there, promise I am.  There are so many thoughts bouncing around in my head like a rubber ball.  Not bad thoughts or fearful ones, just thoughts.  So here is a peek into my head:

• Lazy Boy really needs to step it up, donate comfy chairs to the all the children's hospitals for mom's and dad's to have a comfy recliner.  I'm really not complaining, but these recliners are not so cool after 3 days.  Just saying.
• Making the bedside parent a survival basket or bringing them non-hospital food is delightful and appreciated!
• The caregiver needs to get out of the room everyday for some period of time.  It can be short, but they must leave the room.  I learned this the hard way years and years ago and since she is older and can speak up if she needs help I do leave the room a couple times a day and walk around.
• A call, a drop by, a cute balloon or a funny card makes all the difference in the world to the patient and in turn to the bed side camper. . . BUT keep it upbeat, positive and funny.  Don't tell any sad, scary or "well, I had someone die from this" stories.  It doesn't do anyone any good.
• Being in the hospital is hard on the whole family.  The one parent at home is doing it alone and the other children are missing mom (or dad if that's the case).  Don't forget about the family at home, still moving through life while being concerned for the hospital guests.

Five thoughts, just the five I felt were blog-worthy.  All these are things people know, but sometimes don't actually take in and put into practice.  The care givers tends to forget to care for themselves, people often forget about the family at home, people want to tell the craziest stories to the patient usually striking fear in their hearts and who wouldn't want a better place to sit when sitting is the primary job of the bedside dweller.  People ask me or tell me so often that they don't know what to do when something like this is going on. . . now you know.  Sometimes just being there with the simple things, you know, less is more.

Biggest thought of the week, bouncing around in my head. . . .I'm so glad I am personal friends with the Great Physician and He does ALL things well.  I have peace like a river. . . . . 

. . . . . actually it's more like I'm floating in that river.  

*This post is informational.  I am not begging for baskets or balloons or visitors.  We have been so blessed with food, gifts and visits.  

34 Balloons for 34 Years and 34 Things

Age doesn't really bother me.  I didn't get all freaked out when I turned 30 and I am not freaking out today.  Today I am 34 and I'm thankful for another year.  I can honestly say I physically feel better (concerning arthritis) this year than I did last year, so I celebrate that blessing!  Actually I'm quite blessed and I don't mean I only have one thing to celebrate.  So in honor of my 34th birthday I am posting 34 things I am thankful for and some of them are not so obvious.  ~Smile~

1. God.  Everything about God.  Cannot, will not and do not want to live without Him.
2. My Bible ~ it keeps me sane.
3. My hubby ~ 14 years together and we are both still alive. Love him with much muchness. ~Wink~
4. My kids ~ 13 years of being a mommy and everyday I still pray I am getting it right.
5. My parents ~ couldn't ask for a better set of parents.  They rock!
6. My girlfriends ~ where would a girl be without them??
7. My Pastor and First Lady ~ They have blessed me more than they can ever know.
8. My family ~ blood and otherwise, our family is awesome!
9. Homeschooling ~ I am thankful I have the right to choose and I love it! (most of the time)
10. Yarn ~ it gives me a hobby, a way to earn a little cash and inspires creativity.
11. Fun crochet hooks ~ they make my already fun hobby even more fun.
12. My iPhone ~ it is not a necessity, but it keeps me smart ~Smile~
13. Books ~ it allows me to travel to different times and places without leaving my cuppa tea and my cozy couch.
14. My iPad ~ for many reasons, but mostly for electronic books.  See above.  ~Wink~
15. My dishwasher ~ Heaven knows I do not enjoy doing dishes, so my dishwasher is very special to me.  
16. Flip flops ~ I hate wearing shoes.  Flip flops allow me to, almost, not wear shoes from April to October.  Divine.
17. Ginger ale.  Yes, I truly love ginger ale and today I am thankful for it.
18. My journal.  I pour all my words into that journal and therefore I run my mouth less otherwise.  ~Wink~
19. Toilet paper.  I think that one is self explanatory.  
20. My mini van.  It's older and not the most fabulous van around, but it gets me where I need to go and it puts space between the children.  ~Smile~
21. Ear buds.  I love being hands free to talk.
22. Our homeschool group ~ They are an awesome group of homeschool families and I'm truly thankful we are apart of HELPS.
23. Facebook ~ Some days I'm thankful for FB and other days not so much.  But I am thankful that it keeps me close to friends and family far away.
24. St. Louis Bread Co CWE ~ I'm thankful for them because they are awesome and welcoming to our church plant.  
25. The Movement ~ I am thankful for our church plant for so many reasons!!
26. FroYo ~ Who doesn't love frozen yogurt??
27. Bobby pins ~ Those little pieces of mental make a world of difference in hair style.  ~Smile~
28. Maxi dresses ~ Comfy clothes are a must.  Because of maxi dresses I can be comfy and still look nice and modest.  
29. Washer and Dryer ~ This is a no brainer.  When you have laundry in the quantities we have, these are a blessing!!
30. Hubby's job ~ It's a blessing, with good insurance and benefits.  I thank God daily for it.  (Which by-the-way, he started at exactly two years ago today.)
31. Trees ~ I love trees, the colors, the flowering varieties especially.  They provide shade and oxygen.  I am thankful for oxygen, despite the pollen, I do love the trees.
32. Ability to move ~ Because I have a debilitating arthritis, I am thankful for another year of being able to move.  I may not get to do everything I would like too, but I'm better this year than last and for this I am abundantly grateful!
33. Fresh fruit ~ There is nothing sweeter and yummier than fresh strawberries, grapes, watermelon, cantaloupe and the list goes on.  God out did Himself with the Creation of fruit.  ~Smile~
34. My gray hair ~ I don't have an abundance yet, but I do like them.  Why am I thankful for them?  At least it's still hair on my head.  I'd rather have gray, than none at all.  ~Wink~

So today, my 34th birthday, I shall play with my kids and have a milkshake with them, we will go to the bookstore, we will read a funny book, possibly do a lapbook, fold laundry (because that's a given) and do a load of dishes (another given), we will giggle and laugh as much as possible and I will end the day with Bible study in the Central West End.  

It will be a great day.  

Some Days

Some days just do not start well.  Nothing epically horrific has happened, just a morning where nothing seems to go right.  More irritating than bad. The toothpaste is gone and you thought you had another tube, but as it turns out, you don't (so adults and kids alike are brushing with watermelon toothpaste).  There are four hundred socks in the clean laundry for your hubby but there are absolutely no matching pairs (really?!?!?).  You walk out the door without your keys and your eleven year old (thankfully) has her key and can let you back in to get said keys.

I know we would all like to wake up 100% refreshed and ready to start the day.  We would like for everything to just fall right into place with no hiccups at all.  We would like to float our way to work or through schoolwork/housework (whatever the case may be).  It would be appreciated if our boss/coworkers/family (again whatever the case may be) would be appreciative for all we do and be happy, joyful, cooperative people all the time.  We would love for life to just flow along like a peaceful babbling brook. . . . but reality is, sometimes it's more like shooting the rapids.  Sometimes we are flummoxed and socks don't match and the toothpaste is all gone.  Sometimes you forget your keys.  And always as long as we around humans at all, someone might be crabby, tired or unappreciative.

It's life.  It's filled with ups and downs.  It's got twists and turns, small irritations and grand rapids to conquer.  There are good days and bad days.

And then there are some days. . . I keep telling the Lord that a rewind button would be helpful but His response is always the same. . . "Give me all your days daughter and I'll sustain you."  I can't go back, but I can make a choice to not let the rough start drag the entire day down.  Will I let minor irritations ruin my attitude?

God never promised that all my days would be grand, happy, painless and carefree.  He did promise that He would keep me through every single day, no matter what it brings.

So I add toothpaste to the shopping list, continue to look for and match socks and go get a few extra keys made so that we don't have that problem again.  But first, I think I'll talk to my Father.  I think I'll pour my heart out for all I'm thankful for (because there are many things) and for all I still need Him to help me be, then I'll jump on that to do list.





*Yes I am aware that this is Tuesday, with a Meaningful Monday badge.  It just seems to match how my Tuesday is going.  :)

On the Hook

Bright colors!!  I love bright colors and right now I'm working on a market bag in, what else?  Bright colors.

I am using the Hexagon Market Bag Pattern from Lion Brand.  This is the second one I've made and I just love everything about it!  The hexagons were intimidating at first, but once I got the hang of it, they just fly off my hook!  I love all the millions of color combinations that can be done.  The bag is a nice size.  The one thing I did change is the hook size.  I am using an I hook instead of H.

I fell in love with these Sugar 'n Cream colors.  It all started with the variegated and I went from there.  Not being able to find a yellow that matched suitably, I just went with orange and pink and I love it!

I love how fast progression is due to how quick the hexagons go.  And since they are ever changing, I don't get bored.  ~Smile~  I have to have projects that keep my interest.

I have completed all the hexagons and they are sewn together. All that's left is the handles.  Look's like it will go to the farmers market with me Saturday!

Have a great Wednesday!!


Do you have a WIP too?  Link up here, share so we can all see too!!










*I am not getting paid by Lion Brand to promote their yarn or by Lily Sugar n Cream.  I just love it.  But if either company is interested in letting play with their yarn and review it, I won't complain.  Promise.

Not a Giant Chess Piece

How many times have you heard someone liken life to a game? Or even use the phrase to the "game of life"? And no I don't mean the board game either. Countless times, I'm sure.  But sometimes, I will admit it, feels like that, like I spun a spinner and whatever it landed on, that was my fate.

A few weeks ago in our mid week Bible study we were singing a worship song. I'll be honest, I have no recollection of the song because God and I were communing and while the song helped usher in the spirit of worship, God took over and I cannot for the life of me remember. I think I know why, but I have to stay on track so I'll come back to why. . .a post for another day.

Anyway, while standing in the very sweet, but overwhelming presence of God that night all that I kept saying was, "I am so thankful you reign, so thankful you reign." While talking to God, He spoke to my heart. That is supposed to happen, you know God speaking to us, so I wasn't surprised and you shouldn't be either. He ministered to me what I needed, not necessarily that night, but something that I would need to draw from later.  Probably soon too.

In my mind I saw the image of a giant, and I mean GIANT chess board, and on this board were people. Some I knew and some I did not. I was on there as well. There was a giant hand moving across the top of the pieces, as if deciding which on to move next and where. Then the Lord spoke to me and said, "often times this is what my children think I do. They believe me to be a game master moving people just here and there, with no direction, at my will. They and you, daughter, have mistaken who I Am. I am not sitting high and lofty above you, moving you at about at my pleasure as if to torment you. I dwell in and around you. I make your path clear, its not always an easy path, but I walk it with you. I am not making random decisions concerning your life. I am great, mighty and all powerful, but I hear your heart, I know your needs, I see your tears and your joy. I don't see your life as my game to play." At that moment the chess board and all it's people were gone. God spoke to me again, "you are not my play toys, neither as your children are yours. You are my treasured possession and you have chosen to live your life for me. I take great pleasure in communing with you, caring for you, providing for you, guiding, carrying your burdens and healing you. It's a relationship, not a game."

As I stood in worship service I was overwhelmed and uplifted by those comforting words. I took them in and held onto every word and wrote them down almost immediately. I knew I would need them for another day. And I have. I have often gone back to that night and replayed those comforting words. I have held tightly on when things didn't make sense or when fear threatened me from it's place of banishment. God isn't spinning the wheel to see where I go next! He isn't taking a chance card and wondering what's next! He's got this thing in control!  As in the book of Jeremiah, he tells the people of what God spoke in chapter 29 verse 11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." 

I know the Man in charge. I don't just know Him, but He knows me. And He's got me in the palm of His very giant hands and He does all things well.

I actually typed this post about two weeks ago.  I typed it all out and sat on it.  I knew God wanted me to write it out and post it here, but He told me to wait.  Tonight I feel it's time to post.  I hope someone reading it will hear it's message and find comfort in it. Blessings!!

A Scripture a Day. . . .

We will finish the title in a minute.

I am human. Yes, it's true. I know that you all think I'm a superhero, but I'm not. Just ask my husband. ~Smile~ I am just a woman that wears many hats. Some days I wear those hats well and some days, well some days I avoid the mirrors to avoid seeing disheveled I actually look. I have come to terms with my humanness, for I realize there is no cure. I make mistakes, I get grouchy (another shocking revelation, I know), I get tired, annoyed with other humans, frustrated, overwhelmed and more. I also get all the good stuff too, you like days of productivity, happiness, joyful, loving, content, creative, the list goes on. But the bottom line always comes back to me being a human, with all the frailties and talents allotted to humanity. And being a human not only keeps my feet on the ground, it keeps me in need of a Savior. I'm so glad I know one!

I'm getting to the real meat of this post, I promise.

A very anointed man I know has a saying, "instead of worrying about reading the Bible through, how about choosing a scripture or a passage and really living it". Meaning: not that reading the whole thing through is bad, but if you can't live it what's the point, right? Right! So I decided to choose a passage to work on living. I chose a passage in January and needless to say I'm still working on it. But as an addendum to picking a passage to live, I have been choosing a scripture to commit to memory every day or every few days depending on the scripture. Positive thinking takes on a whole new look when you aren't just thinking positive, but you are entreating the Word upon your situation. There is power in the Word of God. It is sharper than a two edged sword. It brings peace to a troubled heart. It gives direction. It encourages us to keep pressing on. It leads you to salvation. It reveals the Savior and His heart toward us, His children.

That old saying, "an apple day keeps the doctor away" got me thinking. Just like eating good, healthy food keeps our bodies functioning well, the Word of God is our nourishment for our spirit. Soul food, if you will (yes I had to go there). I know we know this, but we need to KNOW it, eat it, hide it in our hearts for the day that we need that Word and no one is calling to encourage us or writing on our facebook wall to uplift our hearts. Sometimes we just need a word, literally a Word. . . .straight from God's heart to mine. How much easier is it to have a Word when you can call it out without needing a concordance to find it again?! Instead of telling yourself how strong your are and that you can get through this, quote the scripture that "all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me". Because I know how strong I am alone and how strong He makes me.

A scripture a day keeps. . . .

. . . .Satan at bay (notice I did not say away, he will always keep trying)
. . . .a mama sane on a stressful day
. . . .a human heart connected to the one and only super power available
. . . .peace in the heart when fear tries to creep in
. . . .joy in place when sorrow threatens to overtake you

There is something about hiding the Word of God deep within your heart. Have I arrived? NO! Absolutely not! There are days where I haven't hidden a Word in my heart, I must try again the next day. I am human. I will still get frustrated, crabby, tired and so on. . . .it's why need the Word of God so desperately. Every. Single. Day.

Handmade LOVE (THE Series #3)

(Just a few crocheted items, please forgive the school work in the background)

I love creating things. A few people seem to like what I make and the ladies at church keep me busy with accessory orders. I have tons of ideas running through this head of mine and not nearly enough time to make them all!! But I decided that this year I would open an etsy shop.

Now, to have a shop you must have stock. And those precious church ladies keep buying up my stock before I can get them listed!! ~Laughter~ But I am working diligently to get some items listed. I told them Sunday that I would have to make things and NOT bring them to church so that I can get them on the site. I am very appreciative of my sisters though, make no mistake! So, impersonating a person that has an infinite amount of time, I have opened the etsy store, despite it's lack of stock at the moment.

I made a commitment to the Lord that I would pray over every item as I am making it, that the receiver would be blessed and live in the shadow of the Almighty. I prayed and asked God to use me, in any way possible, including my etsy shop. It is my desire to share God this year, to share His faithfulness, His love, His salvation and His grace. If I can sell my handmade items and share God too, that's getting the cake and eating it. I believe God is already honoring my efforts to add to the family budget and share of His mercy.

My etsy shop is called Spindle & Linen, under SheWorkethWillingly. . . it's a Proverbs 31 thing, scriptures below.

(Note cards!)

Here are a few items that were either ordered or are for sale, just not listed yet. The pics aren't fabulous, but they work. I just wanted to share my love for handmade items and my passion to create.

(Giant black flower, jean rosettes and polk-a-dot fun)

Crochet headwraps and scarves for little girlies

Mickey Headwrap!!

Houndstooth rosette headband and broach with feathers (it's mine, but more can be made)

Special order white large flower with feathers!

The back of my head with red rose and black feathers! ~Smile~

So there you are! Fully updated about my handmade love! I love to crochet and I'm still learning to knit~hopefully by next fall the etsy shop will have crochet and knitted items. I will post a link to the etsy shop here when I have stock listed.

Here are the scriptures that I pulled from for my shop name and my purpose.

"She seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands."~~Proverbs 31:13

"She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle."~~Proverbs 31:19

"She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple."~~Proverbs 31:22

This is NOT a post about how all women should make things handmade or work with their hands~~it is simply how the Lord led me! Please take no offense!! ~Smile~

The Post About Finances (THE Series #2)

I have pretty great expectations for 2012, as my previous posts have stated, but most of those expectations require action on the part of a human. . . . .mostly this human. ~smile~ Which means you could say that I have pretty high expectations of myself, for my part of the awesome that will be 2012!

Every year I sit down and say, "well woman, what will you do differently this year?" Yes, I ask myself this, hopefully, I'm pretty sure it's a silent question. But if I happen to talk to myself out loud, don't judge. Every year we commit to doing something different financially and this year is no different. Being a one income family, well, let's just say we won't be considered wealthy by the world's standard any time soon, we are always looking for a way to free up a spare dollar or two. Sometimes a spare penny! We strive to honor God in every way and finances are no different. So this year, being the family accountant (please, hold your laughter or at least snicker quietly), I sat down and said, "what is something else I can do to help this budget. . . . .legally?" My hubby works hard so that I can stay home and homeschool and generally attempt to raise our kids, so I do what I can like transcription here and there and selling my wares (this is another post all together) to assist in the accumulation of dollars. But, not unlike many others, we would like and need our dollars to go further. So, enough rambling, what are we doing. . .

• We have committed to eating at home whenever possible, with an exception here and there.
• We have committed to leaving our Keep the Change savings account alone, only dipping in when absolutely necessary. This year we would like to take an actual vacation. Novel idea huh? We thought so.
• I have committed to buying our groceries at the healthiest and most cost effective store or market.
• Buying as many items as possible with coupons and buying items on sale.
• We have committed to thoughtful and intentional purchasing (is this a necessary purchase, etc).
• And last but THE MOST IMPORTANT, committing our budget to God. This years financial motto is "Living well on a Godly budget".

We all know that all good things, including our paychecks, come from God. It's not enough to just give our ten percent and then go about our merry way. We need to commit all of our financial situations, good and scary, to Him. When I say we, I really just mean me, because Hubs faith is always mountainous. He is our Jehovah Jireh. So instead of just giving the tithe and offering, we are committing it all to Him. He knows better than I what we have need of and I like the peace of mind that comes with knowing He's got it all in control.

Expectation in a GREAT BIG GOD, requiring the action of LETTING GO INTO TOTAL FAITH from me and being a good steward of His blessings.

I typed this on Sunday evening. . . then I had a major testimony on Monday!!! God is so faithful!!!

Well, That's A Pain! (THE Series, #1)

One major event that happened on 2011 was a diagnosis. Now I know you all are thinking, "I knew she was diagnosable, but not that kind of diagnosis. No, this diagnosis answered quite a few medical questions but also handed me a lifelong disease. I was diagnosised with Psoriatic Arthritis. What's that?? Let me tell you, condensed version. . . .

It is a cousin to Rheumotoid Arthritis, similar in its potential to be debilitating. It's painful and I have been put on limited physical activity (such as exercise). I take some pretty strong medications to try to enter remission and stop the progression of the disease. Some days the meds are worse than the disease, but for the most part it's all good. In March we'll see if these meds are working if not, injectables will be started. And no, I don't have psoriasis, just the arthritis. . .go figure.

While its rather painful some days and frustrating, I refuse to stop and allow the disease to control my life. I follow orders (mostly), take the medication and I'm not doing structured exercising but I'm not driving myself through Target (not that that is bad if you need it, but I'm not there. . .yet) either. I refuse to be a victim of a disease, I will go down swinging!

But, this post is not about what happened, entirely. . .its about this year. This is a post about what steps I'm taking this year to reclaim my health. BIG faith in Jehovah Rapha (God the healer of all your diseases) combined with a trust that if He chooses not to heal me, I know He will give me the strength to persevere. Either way He is for me!

But I'm doing my part for my health, here is just a few positive changes I'm making:

• Moving to a 95% plant based diet. Yes, that is basically vegetarian. I'm not committing to never having another turkey burger or some yummy curry chicken, but it will be few and far between.
• I have committed to this year FINALLY smashing my addiction to Dr. Pepper. Every year I have given up soda and sometimes for months and months, but somehow I always go back. It is bad for me, there is no good thing that comes from soda, so it's time to go our separate ways for good.
• Be a good patient and follow doctors orders while trusting in the Great Physician.
• There are more, but I'm trying not to be to listy.
  

I am believing for great health this year! Believing for healing or remission, a lifting on the ban of structured physical activity and to end this year in better health than I am today. God is able, my faith is great and I am committed to doing my part.

"Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.~~Psalm 103:1-5

"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."~~Isaiah 53:4-5

"And he cried to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a log, and he threw it into the water, and the water became sweet. There the LORD made for them a statute and a rule, and there he tested them, saying, If you will diligently listen to the voice of the LORD your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, your healer.”~~Exodus 15:25-26 (There is so much good stuff in these two scriptures, I could do 5 posts on them, but another time. Just know these scriptures in Exodus are POWERFUL)

I have faith in Jehovah Rapha first. . . the doctors are just here to see the miracle.

A Series Coming to Browsers Everywhere. . . Soon

That's right, this mama is working on a series. Actually to be truthful, a couple of series of posts that I hope will entertain and challenge and generally update you all.

The first series will be a series of posts related to the new year with all of its new year plans and agendas in making this a SPECTACULAR year. In years past, I have done a giant post outlining all these goals and plans and ides. To much info and lists and not enough meat. I don't want my posts to just be sterile and impersonal and to be really transparent, over the last couple of years my posts have been spotty and sterile. Not really letting myself be me. As a matter of fact, you really don't know me because I don't share to much from my heart. So this year is different, because I'm different. No giant post that is a sterile list of goals. No this year, posts about desires and goals and expectations from the heart of who I am. I promise I won't cross any lines (I have pretty strict boundaries) and I will obviously will share the funniest parts of my life which are named Makiah, Sam and Daniel and you will glimpse into my heart and into my life and home. This year we will laugh, explore God's Word, pray for sanity, cry, pray and everything in between on this blog.

Another series of posts will be about the Proverbs woman. Please don't stop reading, don't throw anything and no need to adjust your glasses. Yes, I said the proverbs woman. She's not so scary and I have been doing a study on that passage that I want to share with you all. Hopefully we all come out better and to so intimidated in the end. And if I am the only one intimidated by her, please don't say otherwise because I like to think I'm not alone in loathing this seemingly beautiful, talented, smart, savvy, superwoman that holds me to a crazy high standard. . . . .sorry. I got distracted. I'm not intimidated anymore, but you now see what I mean. I pray at the end we all see ourselves as proverbs women, with our own talents, abilities, family dynamics, love and homemaking obstacle courses our individual lives afford us.

February, since the beginning of this blog, has been about heart month. And this year will be no different but yet it will be. . . . .and that's all I will say right now.

Well, so much for a shortish post! Ha! Anyway, stay tuned, Mamalovelock is a blogger again. A blogger that's got boogers on her shirt sleeve (and no they aren't mine), dinner prep on her jean skirt (yes, I wiped my hands on my skirt, no judging) and her sterile gloves have been thrown away. The good, the bad and the snotty is coming your way.

Disclaimer--I have typed this post on my iPad and sometimes it doesn't like for me to go back up in the post and make corrections. Yes I am blaming the iPad for mistakes left uncorrected. I'll proof again tomorrow from the desktop. :)

The End is Near

Of the year that is. I can't believe another is ending. It's been an interesting year, that's for sure. I said that this year would be epic. . . .and it was, just not in the way I was expecting. But it's okay because that means 2012 gets to be magnificent, mind blowing even. It's called expectancy. I am expecting great, marvelous, awe-inspiring things and I am refusing to accept anything less.

I am very excited about 2012. But I'll blog about 2012 later.

2011 was frought with highs and lows that I don't even know if I could adequately put into words. When I think of this year in review I am amazed by God's grace, mercy and faithfulness. Despite the lows and within the highs God's fingerprints are all over 2011. Here are just a few highlights:

• March-miscarriage of Lovelock baby #5
• April-my baby turned 3
• May-my sweet girl turned 10 (she is a whole post alone)
• May-my husband was blessed with a wonderful new job
• May-God started dealing with me on deep heart level that would take me to the wilderness and teach me about me and re-teach me about Him
• June-the first man to join our church plant received the Holy Ghost and baptized in Jesus name!
• July-his fiancé started coming to Bible study and received the Holy Ghost on the patio of St. Louis Bread Co. And then we baptized her
• September-I was diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis. I finally had a reason for extreme pain and I started treatment. No exercise at all. I'm still praying for remission. But God is teaching me to count it all joy.
• October-God brought me to new place in Him and showed me what I needed to do about certain areas of my life (this is just more of the same journey started in May). And restored my joy, the joy I hadn't even really realized I had lost.
• November-I picked up my crochet hooks again and I rediscovered my creativity and love for crochet projects.
• December-brought a flurry of activities, church functions and Christmas travel. I made a decision to open an Etsy shop, I have spent a lot of time reviewing this year, making new commitments for next year and making life changing decisions.

It's been quite a year. I left out a lot of details that are just to personal to share or would just be overload, but God took me into the wilderness and I'm journeying to a place of complete sufficiency in Him. I'm still learning, growing and walking in this wilderness. But that's okay, I'm learning to like it out here, in this place where I can hear God so clearly.

While I can't say it was a bad year I can say that closing the chapter that is 2011 is good thing. I'm ready for the next chapter. The next chapter of my personal walk with God, my family and great things in store for The Movment. I'm ready for the highs and the inevitable lows of 2012 because I know God does all things well and no matter the situation, He has it well in hand.

It's the Christmas Season. . . . .

and I can't believe it's been so long since I posted!!! Time is flying past me and I am holding on for dear life!

A quick update:

Fall is over, pumpkins put away and snowmen litter my dining room, living room and kitchen. Thanksgiving was wonderful! My parents came here, I cooked the meal and we just relaxed, played games and had fun. We went on a very quick trip to see friends in Indiana and now we are working on finishing up school work for our Christmas break!!

My fingers are flying, I have many crochet orders to get finished up for Christmas, not to mention the gifts I need to finish. I am loving it though!! I feel my creative juices flowing again, which also helps me to post here! I will post pics here when everything gets done (and given away, I would hate for the receivers to see before Christmas)!

This year has been one of great changes for me in lots of ways, some good, some not so good. There will be more about this in a later post, but from all this life-changiness has come an in depth study of Proverbs 31. Yes, I know, for most women its "the dreaded" chapter of Proverbs. God has been giving me some wonderful insight into this passage as well as working on my heart. I will be sharing some on here too.

I have so much to write about, talk about, praise God for and pray about and I have missed blogging and reading blogs, but I have been dedicating myself to time management. I am ready to add all things bloggy back onto my plate without too much of the plate getting taken up.

Now, back to teaching, I am pretty sure they are running amuck. . . I can blog when they sleep! ~Laughter~

Tap, Tap, Clack, Clack, DING!

I think I mighta mentioned this somewhere on here last year that I am starting my own business. Yes, as if I don't have enough to do in one day, I also want to type my fingers silly! Clickety Clack Transcription is my small home business, that still needs more clients, but we are getting there! One thing I did today to hopefully, garner more clients is to register with Thumbtack.

So, bloggity friends, if you know of anyone in need of a transcriber, send them my way please!!

Thanks!!

Excellent and Expeditious Transcription at affordable rates!

The Lack of Blogging

This is kind of a piggy back post from yesterday. Kind of. You'll see, read on. ~Smile~

I had every reason under the sun for not blogging. Some of them were good but I had one excuse that was silly~~no blog fodder. While that is untrue, because my children daily give me blog fodder, it's more of a reflection of my own fears of you all being tired of reading about the Lovelock adventures. I felt like I could no longer capture in words something you all would want to read.

Silly, right? Not silly because, maybe you all are tired of reading about the crazy my household comes up with, but silly because it's my blog. I can blog about what is important to me. I can blog about all the silly, crazy, sad, happy, hair-pulling moments in my life and that's okay. Because it's my blog. I'm not getting paid to put out a certain post daily. It's also silly because no one ever made me feel like I was boring them. It was all in my own head. I had a talk with myself (yes, I do answer myself too) and I said to myself this, "Valerie, you are ridiculous. You are not blogging all the cute, funny, crazy, zany moment's because you think someone is bored and is expecting something else. Now you have accomplished no one reading it but it's because you aren't blogging. Get blogging woman, now!" (yes, I yell at myself too)

See for a long time I viewed my blog as a family history book. I wrote because I wanted too, not because someone made me. I blogged because my kids are hilarious and hair-pulling at times. I l blogged because I had things to share and say. I guess I forgot all that. All those moments I don't want to miss, I also want to remember. And the way my rememberer is working, I'll never remember all the funny stuff they say and do. My blog is my way to walk back down memory lane and laugh or cry.

No longer is it, I blogged because or I used to blog. I'm a blogger. I blog about my life with all it's moments, sad ones, happy ones, crazy ones, zany ones, helpful ones. My moments.



Let me just say, that I want you all to read and comment. This is not a dismissal, just a better explanation for my lack of blogging. Smooches, bloggity buds and thanks for putting up with me.

It's the Little Things

This post is a food for thought kind of post. Here we go. . .

A couple of weeks ago (yes, that's how long I have been simmering on this post) I had the pleasure of getting a mani/pedi. I finally used a gift card I got for my birthday and I relaxed and enjoyed the moment. When I got there, it was very slow, only two other women having pedi's too. I sat back, looked at a magazine and enjoyed the quiet. While I was sitting there the place began to fill up and before I knew it almost all the chairs were full.

In the mix of ladies coming in, there was a mother daughter combo. You could tell they were both anticipating their pedi's. ~Bear with me, I am going somewhere with this~ She [Mom] came in all excited and in her hand was her phone. Not shocking, I carry my phone in hand as well. She told the lady in a very excited voice, "today is her [the daughter] 12th birthday, we are here for birthday pedi's." They got settled in, mother beside me and daughter on the other side of mother. ~Pardon me, but I must set the scene~ I closed my eyes and thought to myself to just enjoy the last remaining time I have in this chair. I heard the daughter quietly chatting and the mother's "uh huh, mmmm, yes" responses. At first I didn't think too much about it, I was focused on my feet and how marvelous they felt. A few minutes went by and I heard the daughter saying, "Mom, mom, oh mom" but no response. I opened my eyes and what do you think I saw?? Mom, sitting in the chair, texting. She had not yet put down her phone. Her daughter couldn't even get her attention. Immediately I thought to myself, "wow, you can't stop texting long enough to enjoy your time with your daughter and have conversation with her on her birthday?"

It got me thinking about how many moments in life we miss because we are texting, facebooking or tweeting. A friend of mine told me she wasn't a fan of smart phones because people facebook about what they are doing with their family instead of just being with their family (because you know you can't get on fb and just post, you will read through some statuses of your friends). That comment she made came flying into my memory as I observed this mother/daughter combo.

I left the salon with really happy feet and hands, but I was thinking about what I may have missed because I thought I was too busy with my ______________ (fill in the blank). How many little things did I miss, little moments in time that I will never get back because I was too wrapped up in what I thought was important. I think sometimes we, I know this is true for me, get so busy with stuff that we forget to be present, really present, everyday. The greatest happiness I will have will probably not be a really cool status update of one of my friends (though I enjoy a good status update as much as the next person, it isn't a source of great joy, laughter yes, great and lasting joy, no). The greatest joy (besides God, that should go without saying, but I'm saying it anyway) I have is to really live in the present, taking in all the crazy, funny, sad, thought provoking, challenging, happy, surprising, gentle, loving, caring moments in life. It's what makes up life, you can't throw out the bad without throwing out it all. Really taking it all in, relishing the moments I'm given. Kissing boo-boo's, giving and getting AWESOME hugs from my little ones, passing out time in the naughty spot as needed, teaching Bible stories, staying up with a sick child just to make them comfy, answering 70 billion questions per day on every topic imaginable until I think my brain might explode, talking about boys being cute (oh Lord, Heaven help us now she is only 10), doing home spa treatments with a giggly 10 year old, hearing Sam tell of his inventions and Daniel talk about his friends Bob and Larry and Makiah discuss every Hello Kitty item available in the world for purchase, even potty training and all the good, bad and crazy moments that are too come. Every moment counts. I don't want to look back and say, "man I missed that time in my life because I was too busy reading on facebook and twitter what everyone else was doing in their life".

I want to look back and say, "I took in all the moments I could contain." I really lived present. Present every day, every moment. See, it's those little things that slip through and we miss. It's the little things.

~~DISCLAIMER~~This is not a slam against facebook, twitter or any other social networking site. I still facebook and tweet. I am not saying you should never ever facebook or tweet about your life and family because I do, but I also don't want to be so busy telling of all this cool family time or date night time that I miss the time. That is all. :)~~~~~

In Hidding

I've been in hiding.

You know how sometimes we must travel into the deep cave of ourselves and and do some, or in my case, much self evaluating~~that is me, currently.

In the last year I have been a terribly inconsistent blogger and even worse at reading all of your lovely blogs. I am aware of this problem and I am going to fix it, because I miss you all!!

When I emerge from this cave of self evaluation, I will emerge a better wife, a better mom, a better Christian and even a better blogger and bloggity friend too.

Please don't give up on Mamalovelock. I will return. Soon.

Breathing Fresh Air

The last two days have been splendidly beautiful outside. So today I have my front door open and my kids have spent most of this day outside. It is a win-win situation people; they LOVE it outside and it is quiet inside. What more could this mama ask for?!?!? Makiah did all of her school work lying on a blanket outside in the sun. I love homeschooling.



Sam officially started Kindergarten last week. Yes, we are doing school year round so I figured why not. If I am going to homeschool one child, why not do two?? The trip to crazy is already paid for, I might as well ride first class. (I truly love, love, love homeschooling, but there are days that I think I am crazy for getting in this, just to explain) Let me explain my location called crazy. See every morning, VERY. SINGLE. MORNING. first thing, Sam asks me "what are we doing tomorrow mama"? Not today, but tomorrow. I am there still figuring out today and he wants an itinerary for tomorrow???? So my standard answer has become, "we are going to crazy (sometimes it is ville, state or town or just plain crazy)". I have said this so much in fact that now he asks this, "what are we doing tomorrow mama, still going to crazy"? ~~Laugh out Loud~~ "Yes son, still going to crazy". (By-the-way, I totally feel Brain during this dialogue and now understand his frustration with Pinky. If you have never watched Pinky and the Brain, I have now confused you). This answer, however, appeases him and I get to move on with figuring out the current day. He loves to do school work and he is plowing through Math at breakneck speed. He told me that this math was too simple and he needs harder math not this, as Sam puts it, "preschool math I already know". I agree with him. He already knows how to add and subtract simple numbers up to ten. At this rate that rocket ship he has been saying he will build should be done by Christmas. Course I'll just be happy if he is reading by Christmas.

Sam just came in and asked for a drink. I gave him one and he proceeded to tell me he needed that because he is "sweating like a pig in a waffle iron".

Thank you son, you should have that girlfriend you keep talking about any day now with lovely conversation pieces like that.

Well, you have now peeked into my day. I am feeling my bloggy groove returning. Watch out people, I have typing skills and I am not afraid to post! (Finally, right? I know!)

By-the-way, I know that I overused parentheses in this post, but that's just how I roll. ~~Smile~~

Roller Coaster

I do have good reasons for not blogging in the last two weeks. Let me explain.

On February 5th, I got some rather shocking news. I found out that I was expecting again. After about 24 hours of not knowing how to feel, excitement took over and I quickly got used to the idea.

On February 8th the doctor confirmed and I was truly excited. Hubs was still a little in shock. Deer in headlights, best way to describe him. ~Smile~

A week later (Valentine's Day) I had more blood work done to make sure that the numbers were going up correctly. They were not.

After a week of riding an emotional roller coaster, not knowing what was going to happen and being on bed rest the doctor got the results of the last blood draw on Monday.

Miscarried. Another little Lovelock was not to be. Its been an emotional two weeks.

God is faithful. God has given me peace in the midst of my sadness.

Normal blog fodder continues to accumulate and I will be back, I just need a few more days.

Crocheting, Knitting and Sewing, OH MY!

I love to crochet. I love to sit down, turn on some jazz music, a podcast or dramatic theatre and listen while I create fun yarny stuff. I love to give it away. I finally sat down last week and made a scarf, for me. I have made probably 50 scarves in the last 3 years and I have given every single one away, which I love and was glad to do, but I decided that I needed one. I would never make it if I had to sell them to survive because I don't have as much fun crocheting for money, it's my hobby, and I love to bless others with it. I recently went shopping on the Lion Brand Yarn (my fav!!) website and got some new ideas and yarn and I also bought a specific yarn and knitting needles because I am finally going to get lessons from a fabulous knitter!! My Pastor's wife is amazing with the knitting needles and since teaching myself didn't go so well, she is going to teach me. I can't wait! My excitement overflows!! I have found no less than 50 things I want to knit and I have a sincere desire to make my own socks. I know I just confirmed your suspicions that I am a little off, but what can I say?!? I am who I am. But knitting my own socks in all the wild and loud colors I love just sounds divine! Not to mention if knitting is as relaxing as crocheting is for me then I should be one chilled out lady, which I need.

Sewing. I haven't been using my sewing machine as much lately because of all the crocheting and I do still have a family to take care of, but I have some new flannel for flannel wipes and a couple of projects for Makiah. I have tons of projects in mind, but I still need to get my skills back in shape, like I said before its been awhile since I have used a machine. The wipes are giving me the opportunity to practice my seams and lines and make all the wipes I need for cleaning and such around here. Hopefully soon I'll get brave and make Makiah a skirt and then we'll go from there! Gotta keep it simple until I get fully back into the swing of sewing.

I have so many projects floating around in my head that I want to do!! Now if I could just find the time!!!

Heart Tip~~One of the funniest questions I think doctors ask is, "Do you have any stress in your life?" I so desparately want to turn around and ask if they do, but I don't. Usually. Anyway, stress is a huge contributor to a lot of health issues including heart disease and unfortunately we don't always deal with our stress properly or at all. We all need to find ways to de-stress. If its exercise or crocheting or scrapebooking or reading or playing a board game with your kids, whatever helps you de-stress after a long day, do it. Keeping stress bottled up isn't helping anyone or anything and it's silently hurting your body. Give your heart a break and let it go, everyday.

Have a healthy Wednesday!!